There are a lot of things you can do on your own; you can raise a kid, run a business, watch reruns of Boston Legal, go window shopping (actually you don’t need friends for that), and the pervert in you is probably thinking, “I can make sweet love on my own”. And there’s nothing wrong with that but you can only do so much unless you’re Keisuke Jinushi.
This man Keisuke has taken dating to a whole different level by dating himself which would be nothing out of the ordinary if he was an osteologist and by dating he meant taking a closer look at his bones to ascertain their age. But that’s not the case since what Keisuke is doing – in simpler terms – is going out with himself. Yes, you read that right. He goes out alone, haves fun (presumably) and takes pictures to prove it because this is a “pictures or didn’t happen scenario”. I mean would you believe it if I told you that last night I went out with Mila Kunis without pictures to back it up? You just have to see it to believe it.
By pictures I mean selfies because it would defeat the purpose of self dating if you have someone snapping your encounter with yourself. It might sound ridiculous at first but it’s genius if you think about it. You don’t have the hassles of a conventional date like who’s going to get the bill or how much you spend because it’s just you. It’s brilliant, really. It would also go a long way in helping you know yourself. For instance dating yourself is a great way to find out that you’re depressed loner. Something that you wouldn’t know if you kept to yourself and didn’t go out (with yourself)! It’s also a brilliant excuse when you want to get away from your friends:
“Yo Mike, wanna come to that thing at Sam’s? There will be girls…”
“No thanks, I have a date. With myself.”
It’s an especially apt excuse if your friends address you like, ‘yo’.
When reached for comment by the awesome people at Cable News Network, (because news nowadays is that real) Keisuke says that biggest trick to successful self dating is not having a girlfriend in the first place. Man, I would never have figured it out but I’m glad he cleared that up because I was wondering what I was gonna tell my girlfriend when I go out with myself sometime next week. Now all I have to do is dump her.
If you haven’t picked it up already, Keisuke is Japanese, because of course he is! Frankly I’d be surprised if this self dater was from any other part of the world as I have come to accept that if an unconventional approach to anything is gonna happen then it’s got to be in Japan. And he goes on to say that the best place to self-date is in Japan because apparently everywhere else people date other people and it’s a bit silly to go out with yourself when everyone else is with their special other.
He’s taking this self dating a whole notch higher because he’s experimenting with “kissing photos”. Apparently going out with yourself is not degrading enough, you have to kiss an imaginary girlfriend to really get it right. Japan sounds like an awesome place to be for loners, doesn’t it?
It would however make for an awkward breakup: “Hey me, I’m sorry but I can’t see me anymore. This is not working. I should see other people. No hard feelings, friends?”
Now if anyone asks, I’ll be out of the country. I have a date. With Myself. In Japan.