(Nairobi, Kenya) – “We were meant for skinny people”, said a green pair of skinny jeans amid the “My dress, my choice” demo held in Nairobi on Monday 17th Nov 2014. The demo was in protest to the recent incident where a woman was stripped by members of the public for an apparent skimpy dressing.
The skinny jeans whose voices were muffled by the shoutings of feminists and anti-feminists alike, tried to present their case to their owners on how they don’t appreciate it when they are worn by not so skinny people.
“It’s really a no brainer, people. The moniker skinny jeans is there for a reason. If you’re not skinny we should not be seen with you in public or anywhere ever.” Said a sky blue pair of skinny jeans which has become pretty popular with those whose waist lines read XXL.
“If our grievances are not addressed we will be forced to result to extreme measures to preserve our dignity. We will have to engage in spontaneous strip shows by ripping ourselves apart because this is really no way to live. We can’t forever be forced to fit in places that we have nigh zero wiggle room”, protested the blue pair.
“We can’t turn without bursting a thread or two, it’s embarrasing. Everyone around thinks we’re farting while in reality it’s our very soul coming apart,” added a white pair of jeans which also said that it hates its color. “I mean, seriously who even wears a white a pair of skinny jeans?”
A yellow pair of jeans which was squirming in discomfort was quick to add, “you think you have it rough, White! What about me? Everyone makes fun of me. They think I’m the shadiest thing ever created, I wish I was born white!”
“I hear you, sister”, said a black pair to the yellow pair. “It’s the story of my life.”